I want to tell you about Poison Oak Deer. It's a new species, my daughter made them up after we arrived in North Carolina. The Poison Oak Deer has teeth and claws and everything like a bear. They're very dangerous and they stalk travelers along the road. They're very fierce and also they have wings. There seem to be many of these deer around North Carolina, but so far we have been able to avoid them, narrowly.
They have been known to cause structural damage to buildings, and have also been responsible for some of the felled trees in the area. I haven't quite been able to identify the signs though. Only Phoenix can clearly identify their handiwork it seems.
A Poison Oak Deer is not quite as big as a bear, On average they weigh about eighty pounds. They eat fish and regular bears and trees and poison berries 'cause that's good for their tummies because they are poisonous. Also lightbulbs and cars when you leave them parked, and workshops and coffee houses, and grass and fences. As you can imagine they are quite fearsome. When they are in their house, they will attack.
Although the adults tend to travel alone, the kids have friends and stay in packs. The young friends live in the trees, and the mommies live in a real house made of bricks and dirt. When people climb up with shoes on their feet the Poison Oak Deer will attack to defend its home and they are very tough. If you come upon one of the bigger ones they will attack and try to eat you and you must run fast.
So far none of these Poison Oak Deer have been caught on camera. We may try to provide a sketch in the next couple of days.